Forgetting
by mlw217
Summary: Emily has been missing for two weeks and doesn't remember anything from those weeks. The team investigates, trying to find out what happened to their friend.
1. Chapter 1

Forgetting

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds

Panic…deep, breathless, strangling panic shot through her entire body. Oxygen wasn't entering her brain fast enough and she fought through the fog. There was pain, too, but she couldn't make out the source or how to stop it. Darkness closed in and she let go, praying that this was only a dream.

The nightmare was her reality…She woke with a start, her eyes flashing open and she began breathing frantically, not knowing where she was. She smelled blood and sweat and a stomach-turning stench that was familiar but she couldn't place it. There was a bed of wet leaves and branches under and around her and she struggled to sit up, pain attacking every nerve. Her head pounding, she dragged her sluggish body to a tree and leaned against it, finding that she couldn't use her right leg at all without it exploding in fiery agony. When she looked down at it, fear in her shallow breath, she saw a horrible gaping wound at the bottom of her knee cap where her bone was clearly protruding outward and she held back the gut-wrenching urge to be sick. The sick feeling was magnified when she spotted a corpse, not ten feet from where she was sitting. It was a man and his entrails weren't inside anymore and she gagged, trying to forget the awful smell. There was blood all over her, but she was in shock, adrenaline shooting through her, the defense mechanism against whatever trauma that had befallen her. She was thankful for her body's automatic response and she took a rattling breath. Her dark hair fell into her face, sticking to her forehead from the blood pouring from a head wound.

Confusion entangled her every thought, not allowing her to recall what had happened. She was bleeding and felt like she had been She was only slightly aware of the uncontrollable shaking of her limbs, but she didn't have time to worry about that. Right now, she had to get help. Her leg was obviously in really bad shape and she didn't even want to think of what was under her blood-soaked shirt. All she knew was that she was in trouble. She didn't dare look under her shirt, in fear that what she saw would only inhibit her progress to safety. She squeezed her tear-filled eyes shut and felt around for a lifeline – anything that could help her get out of the horrible situation she was in. A glimmer of hope emerged when she found her cell phone, but she barely had any service. There was a sinking feeling in the bottom of her stomach and she set her trembling jaw, determined to get a call through to someone – anyone who could help her.

The phone nearly slipped from her bloody hands and she had to consciously calm herself down so she could dial the number, her hands shaking violently. It was only then that she realized how incredibly cold it was as a frosted cloud billowed from her mouth. Hope was the only light that warmed her and she pushed her trepidation aside, holding the phone to her numb ear. When the ring assaulted her ear, she took a relieved breath, now praying for her best friend to answer. Emily Prentiss ignored her trembling and focused fully on hearing the voice that could save her life.

"Agent Jareau." The warm tone that answered sped Emily's heart up and she took a breath, speaking.

"JJ!" Emily didn't even sound like herself. It sounded like her voice had been ripped to pieces, rasp and gruffness replacing it. There was a small uncomfortable silence.

"Who is this?" This confused Emily and she looked at the phone she had. It wasn't hers…She cursed under her breath and continued frantically.

"It's Emily." She kept it short, needing to take a breath, feeling a little dizzy.

"Emily? Where the hell are you? Are you okay? We've been looking for you for two weeks." Emily's eyes widened, words failing her. Two weeks? What happened to her? She couldn't remember anything before waking up. Panic flooded her mind again and she cursed again.

"Oh my gosh….two weeks? I….I don't know….I don't know where I am…..what….I don't know what…..I just woke up and…" She stopped, catching her breath. She was freaking out and JJ heard the strongest woman she knew losing all of her fearless façade.

"Emily…take a deep breath, okay? Can you tell me where you are?" JJ's heart was pounding.

"No. I don't know where I am…" Emily felt hot tears streaming down her face and she shook it off.

"Okay, okay…hold on. I'm going to get Garcia to trace the call, alright? I'm still here…stay with me, okay?" JJ spoke as fast as she could, taking off for Garcia's office. "Trace this call, Garcia. Fast." Her voice was hard, panicked, and void of all positivity. Garcia did as she was told, confusion and curiousness written all over her face.

"It's coming from a few towns away…in the middle of nowhere, Jayje. What's going on?" Garcia swallowed nervously.

"Emily. Send the coordinates to my phone. I'll call you when we know something." JJ tore out of the analyst's office and rounded up the team, still on the line with Emily.

_This just came to me. Not sure where this is going but review if you want me to continue! –mlw217-_


	2. Chapter 2

Forgetting

"Turn here!" JJ spoke, her voice low and fearful. Morgan screeched around the corner, determination like fire in his eyes. Hotch sat in the passenger seat and Reid, Rossi, and JJ in the back. JJ pulled the phone back to her ear. "Emily? You still there?" There was a silent tension in the car as they raced to save Emily.

"Yeah…" Emily's voice was weak and it scared JJ. Reid leaned closer to the phone so he could hear Emily's responses and he swallowed nervously.

"An ambulance is right behind us, Em. Just hold on, okay?" JJ could feel the worried stares of the team and she ignored them, only focusing on her friend's response. The lights of the ambulance reflected from the mirror made JJ shift her eyes to something else and she gave another direction to Morgan.

"Okay…JJ?" Emily felt her eye lids getting heavier and she fought her weakened consciousness.

"Yeah?" JJ took a breath and felt Reid do the same.

"I don't remember anything…nothing." Frustration entered her voice and JJ could almost hear the tears forming.

"It's okay, Em. We're gonna figure it out." JJ set her jaw, shaking her head. Why was this happening? There was a muffled groan from the phone and JJ gritted her teeth, knowing that her friend was in pain.

….

Emily sat and squeezed her eyes shut, pain screaming from every part of her body. Tears unwillingly streamed down and she held the phone to her ear, not sure how much longer she could keep it up. Her arm was getting tired, but JJ was on the line and they were on their way to get her; she couldn't give up now. She glanced down at her leg and grimaced. She had put her jacket on her leg, but it wasn't really doing any good, the blood seeping out of the sides. Her stomach had started hurting now and she took a peek under her shirt. She swallowed back her fear and she groaned, seeing knife wounds. What had happened to her? How could she not remember getting hurt like this? Emily couldn't recall a time in her life when she had felt more helpless or alone or afraid. She had prided herself in how well she compartmentalized and how she never let her emotions show…but today was the exception. There was no way she could play this off as 'not a big deal'. She was losing too much blood, and the rational part of Emily's mind was considering the chances of her being able to keep her right leg…or her life. Whatever had happened to her had left her in horrible shape. All she knew was the pain and the strength that was quickly draining from her body in the form of tangible, dark red blood.

"JJ? I don't remember anything…nothing." This was mainly to keep her alert and awake, but she didn't understand how her mind couldn't recall what had left her in this condition. There was not even a little part of her that remembered something helpful. She was alone and dying in the woods…with no one but a dead man to keep her company. When she got reassurance from JJ, she relaxed a little, feeling the dull throbbing in her leg even less now. After a few seconds of silence, she felt the phone falling from her hand and before she could stop it, she felt all awareness and consciousness fading away. A few more seconds passed and Emily had passed out, the phone still on but now on the ground next to her hand.

….

JJ let a silence grow and she heard something drop.

"Emily?" Her voice was full of fear and the entire SUV held their breath. When she didn't get an answer, she said it again, more forcefully. No answer. Panic made her heart drop into her stomach and she closed her eyes. "She's not answering…" Morgan sped up and turned another corner, almost to their destination. Everyone sat, holding onto something so they wouldn't get jerked around the car from Morgan's driving. JJ kept her eyes glued to her GPS and yelled out when they were where they need to be. The team filed out of the car, pulling out their guns and running to save Emily's life.

_Wow! Thank you so much for all of the GREAT reviews. It was such an awesome surprise. I decided that I'd put another chapter up today because of the wonderful reviews. (Plus the first chapter was kinda short) I hope you enjoy! Review and tell me what you think! –mlw217-_


	3. Chapter 3

Forgetting

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.

It was a dark place, but she no longer felt the cold or the pain. It seemed as if she were suspended in a place where time was irrelevant and her mind didn't comprehend the state of her body. It was a beautiful escape from the frozen hell she was in before, but something in the back of her mind sparked, reminding her of the reason she was no longer feeling the repercussions of whatever had happened to her. She had passed out, which was not a good thing despite the numb warmth that spread over her. As she floated through her unconsciousness, she thought she heard someone yelling for her. Emily listened again and recognized her team yelling her name. Now, everything inside of her wanted to go back to that painful awareness so she could call back to her family. Fighting with all of the strength she had left, she forced her dark, tear-filled eyes open and yelled back, praying they weren't too far away to hear her feeble cry. There was a silence and Emily filled it once more, hoping to see someone before she passed out again.

….

JJ and Morgan ran in one direction while Reid, Rossi, and Hotch ran in the other. They yelled out for their friend and colleague, tension and trepidation making it difficult to take a breath. Only a few minutes had passed when JJ froze and grabbed Morgan's taut arm, putting a finger to her lips. The seconds of silence felt like an eternity but then they heard what they'd been waiting for. They took off in the direction of the weak yell and jumped over tree branches to get to Emily.

Morgan was faster, so he spotted Emily first…but what he failed to notice was the corpse that would trip him on the way. When he fell, JJ called out, cringing as she jogged around the body. Morgan growled but was alright so JJ was the first to Emily's side. The sight shocked her as she tried to process all of her friend's injuries. She stumbled over her words as she spoke, but Morgan heard and proceeded to call Hotch and the ambulance to their location.

"Emily? It's JJ…You're gonna be okay…just hold on." JJ brushed the dark hair from Emily's bloody face and fought the tears that were on the brink of falling.

"JJ…" Emily opened her eyes as much as she could and grasped at JJ's hand with meager strength.

"I'm right here, Em." JJ glanced up at Morgan, whose eyes were wide in disbelief. When the paramedics arrived, everything went so fast that no one could even comprehend what was happening. Emily's bloody face, dull eyes, and horrible open fracture were playing over and over in JJ's mind, burning into her retinas. She couldn't shake the gruesome images flashing across her vision as she half-jogged with Emily's stretcher to the ambulance. She would go with Emily to the hospital and meet everyone else in the waiting room, which had become way too familiar to them.

Once JJ got ushered out of the trauma room, she glanced at her cell phone and saw about 20 missed calls from Garcia. Closing her eyes and sighing dreadfully, she pressed a number on her speed dial, waiting for the hysterics.

"JJ! What is going on?" No one is answering their phone! Strauss is freaking out and I just got something….something I can't handle…it makes me want to claw my eyes out and I don't know what to do…I just can't do this right now, JJ, and—"

"Garcia! Calm down. What are you talking about?" Confusion washed over her stressed face and she looked down at her hands, realizing they were stained red. Her stomach turned violently, but she focused on Garcia's explanation so she wouldn't hurl.

"We've been looking for Emily for two weeks, Jayje…..wait. First, please tell me she's okay." Garcia slowed down and lowered her voice.

"I don't know, Garcia…They kicked me out. She's in really bad shape, though. Something really awful happened to her…" JJ squeezed her eyes shut against the rush of images assaulting her.

"I know…" JJ drew her brows together and opened her mouth.

"What?"

"I know what happened to her, JJ…and I know she doesn't remember any of it…I was sent the video….two weeks' worth of video." Garcia's tone was dark and fearful.

"What?" JJ ignored the curious gazes she got as the team filed into the waiting room.

"It's absolutely horrible, JJ…I can't watch it anymore. Strauss ordered me to and I can't. I can't do it anymore, JJ." Sobs blared into JJ's ear and she took a deep breath, the twist making her sick to her stomach.

"Okay, Garcia. Alright…postpone watching it and come to the hospital. We'll talk about it then." JJ hung up and collapsed into one of the hard chairs, all of the eyes in the room still on her. She shook her head.

"What's going on, JJ?" Hotch stepped forward, his eyes hard and unwavering. JJ shook her head again and ran a hand across her face before responding.

"Garcia…she got a video. I'm not sure how, but it's two weeks' worth of what happened…to Emily." JJ didn't look at the reactions of her teammates because she knew exactly what they would be; they would be exactly like her own reaction. She took a breath, trying not to imagine what was on the video that Garcia had to watch. JJ leaned forward and put her weight on her forearms and her thighs, letting the team process the information she had yet to fully grasp. "Strauss was making her watch all of it by herself…I told her to stop and come here." Her voice was quiet, but everyone heard her. Silence grew and everyone found their seats. When Garcia walked in, her red eyes searching, JJ gestured to the seat beside her. JJ gave her friend a small hug and a sad, sympathetic smile but didn't speak. Garcia caught on and followed suit, keeping her eyes on the direction that the doctor would come from.

Then they waited…..

_Thank you so much for your awesome reviews! I was really pleasantly surprised by the response to this story! I wrote this chapter earlier…but I didn't have access to my computer and was unable to post it! I'm sorry….but I hope you enjoy it and please review! I love reading your thoughts! They are a wonderful motivational tool (hint, hint.) Thank you! –mlw217-_


	4. Chapter 4

Forgetting

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds…

Quiet footsteps interrupted JJ's thoughts and she glanced over to the man in the white coat walking toward her. JJ stood and stared at the somber-looking doctor.

"Emily Prentiss?" His voice was slow and tired. Now, the entire team stood, answering for their friend. The doctor introduced himself briefly. "I'm Dr. Petit and I was Agent Prentiss' surgeon and I'll be taking care of her for a while. Is Agent Prentiss' family present?" Dr. Petit looked around at the team's frantic, worried glares and focused his attention on Hotch, who had stepped forward.

"We are her family." Hotch's tone was serious and there was no arguing with him. The doctor nodded, understanding, having dealt with police officers and federal agents before. Before he spoke, he glanced around again at the desperate faces with as much sympathy in his eyes as he could.

"Okay…She made it through the surgery. It was touch and go because she was severely dehydrated and hypothermic. Because of the hypothermia though, she didn't lose as much blood as she should have with her injuries, so that was a positive and it probably saved her life. We fixed her leg, which is why the surgery took so long and we repaired the internal bleeding caused by her broken ribs. Her head wound is troubling so we're keeping a close eye on it. She's sedated and intubated right now, but you can go see her." Dr. Petit spoke slowly and sympathetically, turning to lead the agents to the hospital room. The tension in the air faded briefly as the team took a collective breath, relieved that their friend was alive.

Walking through the door, JJ let her jaw drop as she looked at Emily's bruised, swollen face and the tube coming from her mouth as a machine helped her breathe. Even though the team had seen her weak and broken in the woods, this seemed different – more real. They saw Emily lying in the hospital bed looking so fragile and breakable. Dr. Petit said something before closing the door and leaving, but JJ only heard a distant, intelligible murmur.

Every thirty minutes a nurse would walk in and check Emily's vitals and about every two hours Dr. Petit would come in and check on her. They had been in the hospital room for a few hours when Hotch made eye contact with JJ and gestured toward the hallway. JJ nodded and pushed her tired body up from the sofa and followed Hotch. She pinched the bridge of her nose in between her thumb and pointer finger and closed her eyes briefly, exhaustion blatant in her every movement. Hotch sighed when he closed the door and he squinted, letting his eyes adjust to the brightness of the hallway.

"I've got to go talk to Strauss and type a report to hand in to her…and I haven't talked to her mother yet…" There was a question in between the seemingly innocent information he was giving to her and she understood it. JJ frowned and let her head fall down to her chest. A few choice words came to mind, but she shook it off, looking back up at her boss.

"I'll call the Ambassador…" Hotch's stressed eyes were relieved and thankful. He nodded to her and put a kind hand on her shoulder.

"We're gonna figure this out, JJ. Let me finish up with the bureaucratic crap and we'll find out what happened. After you call her mother, you might want to ask Garcia about what she saw on the tape. It'll be easier if you get it out of her." Hotch gritted his teeth and walked away without another word. JJ stood there alone for a second, not wanting to think about all she had to do. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out her cell phone. The breath did nothing to relieve the apprehension that was building in her chest, but she kept her mind on Emily as she dialed the number.

...

The dark haired woman walked into her office building, an air of authority and aloofness accompanying her, sweeping the warmth of the office away. An array of meaningless, begrudging, habitual morning greetings welcomed her back to work. A young, over-eager assistant was waiting for her when she walked into her personal office, a coffee and package in his outstretched hands. She took them both and with a politically correct smile on her face, pushed him out, closing herself in so she could be alone. Her morning was going perfectly according to her schedule and the only unexpected event was receiving this small package. The Ambassador's stony expression stayed consistent as she took a sip of her hot, black coffee and sat down in her rather large, expensive desk chair. She peeled open the package and spilled the contents on her desk, not really paying close attention. When she looked down at her desk, her brows drew together, confusion filling every inch of her mind. It was a piece of paper that looked like some ransom note straight out of a movie; the letter cut-outs and everything. It read: "This is your fault." That was all. Immediately, her daughter came to mind, her eyes tearing up and a lump forming in her throat. Ambassador Prentiss shook her head slowly and picked up the CD that had fallen out of the envelope. Her heart was pounding now, a really bad feeling creeping up her spine. She put the mysterious CD into her computer, waiting for it to load. While she waited, her cell phone went off, scaring her half to death. Her heart racing and her breathing ragged, she answered her phone, her usually confident tone now shaky.

"Ambassador Prentiss."

"Ambassador, this is Agent Jareau. I need to speak with you for a few minutes. It's important." JJ sounded tired and the Ambassador made a mental note of it.

"Alright…What's going on?" The Ambassador was scared of what her daughter's colleague had to say, and her mind was filled with questions about her missing daughter.

"Well…Ma'am, It's about Emily. We found her." JJ hadn't been the one dealing with Emily's mother during the two weeks Emily was missing, so she hadn't been able to gauge how she was dealing with it. The Ambassador momentarily forgot about the CD she had put into her computer, excitement filling the office.

"You found her? When? Is she alright? Where are you?...What the?" Elizabeth Prentiss was rambling, having too many questions come out at once. Then she looked at her computer screen where a movie was playing, horrible, gruesome images filling her screen. She saw a familiar man getting tortured and screaming and then something that made her nearly yell in shock and horror. It was Emily. She was being beaten and tortured…It was horrible. JJ heard the outbursts from the other end and she tried to calm her friend's mother down.

"What's going on? Ambassador! Talk to me!" JJ got a few looks from nurses, but when she flashed her badge, they wore apologies in their eyes.

"Oh my gosh….what is this? Holy….." Elizabeth shut her eyes and closed her laptop, not wanting to see anymore, tears filling her shocked eyes.

"Hey! What's happening?" JJ paced back and forth.

"I…I got a package this morning and it had a CD in it…Oh my gosh…it showed….Emily was being tortured. And I…I got a note…" Elizabeth closed her eyes and pushed her chair back until it hit the wall behind her. JJ's eyes were wide.

"Okay…Ambassador, Emily's in the hospital right now. Why don't you come here and I'll send some crime scene people over there, okay?" JJ attempted to keep her voice calm in order to keep the woman on the other end calm. JJ heard a mumble of agreement and then she hung up after she was sure that the Ambassador had left her office and locked it behind her. When she turned around to check on Emily, Morgan was standing there, an expectant look in his eyes. With a stressed sigh, she shook her head.

"What's going on?" Morgan kept his voice low but forceful.

"I was just calling her mother…she got a package with the video and a note. I was just about to send some agents over there…and I need to call Hotch. Morgan….what the hell is happening?"

_Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! They seriously make my day! Keep up the awesome reviews and tell me what you think! This one is a little bit longer than my usual chapters so I hope you enjoy! R&R! –mlw217-_


	5. Chapter 5

Forgetting

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds

Hotch fought the urge to roll his eyes as the sharp, annoying tenor of Emily's mother's voice blared into his ear. He walked briskly in front of her, wanting nothing more than to shut her up. He had sat her down and talked with her about the incident in her office. She was her normal self and more on edge because of her daughter's condition, but he kept telling himself why he was having to deal with her. It was all for Emily…for Emily. That mantra kept him going and he felt relief wash over him as he saw his team walking toward him. Taking a small breath, he pursed his lips.

"Ambassador, why don't you go sit with Emily. I need to talk to my team." The Ambassador gave him a smoldering glare before walking away, discontent in her every movement. When she was out of earshot, Hotch let out a stressed breath.

"How was that?" Morgan had a small smirk on his face and it faded to a frown when he thought about his partner.

"She didn't give me much. Okay…we need to get going on the case. Morgan, Reid, I need you two to go report to Strauss. Garcia, go with them…I know you don't want to watch the video…but we need you. Emily needs you. Rossi and I will check out the Ambassador's office and JJ, stay here with Emily and the Ambassador. Let's get this bastard." Hotch nodded curtly, giving a sympathetic look to an angry Garcia and a dreading JJ before walking away with Rossi.

….

JJ sat in silence next to the Ambassador, whose stony demeanor held the room in suspension. JJ felt as if she were holding her breath and she didn't say a word. After a few minutes, the Ambassador's phone went off. She looked back at JJ, standing up, smoothing her skirt down.

"I'm sorry. I have to take this. I'll be in a meeting for a few hours…but you can reach me at this number." She held out a small card in between her pointer and middle finger. After JJ took it, Emily's mother's heels clicked out of the room, glancing back at her unconscious, intubated daughter wistfully before leaving. JJ gritted her teeth, staring after the cold woman, and she shook her head. The sound of the ventilator filled the room and her mind as JJ sighed, letting her chin fall to her chest.

"Agent Jareau." A soft, kind voice interrupted her exhaustion and JJ jerked her head up.

"Oh. Dr. Petit…sorry." JJ stood and bit the inside of her cheek, avoiding looking at Emily's broken figure. Dr. Petit smiled kindly and shook his head, keeping his voice quiet.

"It's fine. Emily is breathing over the ventilator…so we can extubate now. It's best to do this while she's sedated; it's extremely unpleasant…if you'll just step out briefly, we'll be able to get this over with." JJ hesitated and nodded, walking out as a few nurses walked past her into the room. JJ didn't want to leave Emily, but she needed to update Hotch anyway, so she pulled out her phone, looking away from the extubation.

After she finished with Hotch, who had not made any progress, she turned back to Emily, who was still being extubated. Dr. Petit was right – it was definitely unpleasant. JJ wanted to look away, but the pained look in her friend's eyes held her gaze. She couldn't imagine being unable to move or speak but to still be able to feel everything. JJ didn't know if Emily knew what was going on around her, but the expression on her face made JJ not reject the idea. When Dr. Petit seemed satisfied with Emily's breathing, he walked out of the room, motioning for her to follow him back into the room.

"Her breathing is back to normal and she should be waking up fairly soon. Page me or a nurse when she wakes up, okay?" With that, he left, taking Emily's chart with him.

JJ took a breath and tucked her blonde hair behind her ears, walking to the chair nearest to Emily's bed. Then she sat and waited, praying that her friend would wake up soon.

….

As they walked into the building, they were accompanied by the sniffling and tears of their technical analyst. With red eyes and wet cheeks, Garcia stomped out of the elevator to her office. Morgan gritted his teeth, wanting nothing more than to help her or make someone not emotionally tied to this case watch the video. After updating Strauss, he made a note to go help Garcia and make sure she was alright. Reid sighed heavily as he walked in the direction of the section chief's office, nearly dragging his feet.

"She's gonna be okay, kid." Morgan put a strong hand on Reid's shoulder and glanced at his unconvinced expression.

"Maybe…She doesn't remember what happened, Morgan. Physically, she'll heal…but emotionally? Emily's not going to be able to deal with losing two weeks of her life. And the worst part is that we know…we have it on tape. She can't accept not knowing. She won't." Reid frowned, his eyes unwavering.

"Yeah…but we're gonna be here for her. Even when she doesn't want us; especially when she doesn't want us to be." Morgan smiled sadly, walking into Strauss' office, Reid following closely behind.

….

Rossi sat in the Ambassador's office chair, rolling back and forth for a few seconds, deep in thought. Hotch was gazing evenly at the note that was bagged in evidence with unfocused eyes.

"The CD is still in the computer." This was Rossi speaking and Hotch took a deep breath, no doubt remembering the state they had found Emily in. Hotch walked slowly behind the very large, prestigious desk and stared at the computer. Rossi opened the file and played it, knowing that they'd have to watch it eventually.

….

Garcia's pale hands trembled violently as she sat in her dark office alone. The computer screens illuminated her terrified face as she opened the file she never, ever wanted to see again. She would take thousands of more gruesome videos and photos before watching her friend get tortured and beaten so badly that she couldn't even remember it. Everything inside of her protested what she had been ordered to do. The small rational part of her mind left over was reminding her of why she had to do this. Maybe she could find something – some sort of clue that could help them catch the evil psychopath who had done this and help Emily get her memory back, which Garcia didn't know if that was such a good thing – to have the horrible, painful memories that Garcia was about to experience. With one brave click of the mouse, the video started, just as she had remembered.

….

JJ's eyes became heavy and she had yet to hear anything from her teammates. A light sleep settled gently on her like a blanket and she rested on the edge of Emily's hospital bed, JJ's hand still holding Emily's. A few moments later, she felt something move in her hand. With a startled jerk of her head, she looked at Emily, who was now waking up.

"Emily!" JJ grabbed Emily's hand with both of hers and waited as Emily opened her mouth to speak.

"What…what happened?" Her voice was only a whisper due to the intubation and she scrunched her face in pain. JJ pressed the nurse call button and moved hair from Emily's face, not knowing how to answer.

"You don't remember anything?" JJ's eyes were filling with moisture. Emily squeezed her eyes shut and took a breath.

"The woods…and calling…you. Nothing else." Emily started to look scared, but once she was conscious of her facial expression, she smoothed her expression. JJ nodded and frowned, not wanting to tell Emily what had happened to her, which she didn't really know a lot about anyway. Pressing the call button again, JJ took a breath, hoping the nurse would get there before she had to explain anything.

"Emily. It's great to see you awake. How are you feeling?" Dr. Petit walked in, his tired eyes warm. Emily blinked and took a slow breath, looking more than a little hesitant and confused. "I'm sorry. I'm Dr. Petit. I was your surgeon and I'll be taking care of you while you're here. Now, how are you feeling?" Emily gritted her teeth and squeezed JJ's hand, clearly in pain.

"I'm fine. What happened?" Emily whispered and fought back tears that were threatening to fall. JJ rolled her eyes at Emily's stubborn nature, incredulousness clear on her face.

"Alright, Emily. I need you to be straight with me about how you're feeling so we can get you better as quickly as possible." Dr. Petit's tone got a little harsh and it surprised JJ enough to bring out a protective anger. She held it back and waited for Emily to respond, prepared to yell at the doctor if she had to.

"I'm confused. I…I just want to know what the hell happened to me." Emily tried to raise her voice past a whisper and fell into a coughing fit, squeezing her eyes shut. Dr. Petit frowned and grabbed an oxygen mask, gently placing it over Emily's mouth and nose. JJ gritted her teeth, feeling extremely helpless.

"Okay, just breathe. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly." Dr. Petit had a caring hand on Emily's shoulder and he waited patiently for his patient's breathing to normalize. Once Emily started breathing calmly, she slowly lifted her hand to the oxygen mask, pulling it off. Still fighting her ragged breathing, she stared at the doctor evenly.

"Alright. First of all, you won't be able to speak normally for a while because of the intubation, so be careful. You're going to have to take it easy for quite a while." Before Dr. Petit could speak again, Emily grabbed his arm, whispering.

"Please. Tell me." Emily glanced over to JJ briefly and blinked slowly.

"Okay…We're still figuring out what exactly happened to you and why you don't remember it. You were taken and…tortured. We don't know why, but we are concerned primarily about your well being." Dr. Petit shifted his gaze to the monitor screens, checking Emily's vitals. After a few seconds of silence, Emily took a deep, slow breath and whispered again.

"When can I leave?" JJ's jaw dropped and her brows drew together, confusion paramount in her mind.

"What? Emily, what are you talking about?" JJ gritted her teeth, forcing herself to stay calm, looking at the doctor, who was frowning.

"Emily, your injuries are very serious. I don't think you understand that you almost died." Dr. Petit crossed his arms and blinked once.

"I understand…I'm going to find the person who did this…" Emily paused but didn't continue. JJ shook her head, sorrow in her eyes.

"Emily…we're gonna find him and make him pay. We're going to figure this out. But your only job in this is to rest and heal." JJ squeezed Emily's hand and sighed.

"She's right, Emily. You need to focus on healing." Dr. Petit nodded. Emily frowned, knowing that this was going to be a very long and unpleasant recovery and case…for everyone involved.

_I'm sorry for the long wait, but midterms were killing me. Thank all of you, again, for your awesome, kind words. Your reviews really do make my day. Keep them coming and let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy this chapter! R&R! –mlw217-_


	6. Chapter 6

Forgetting

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds

Garcia was already in tears before she started but now she was determined to do something-anything-to help her team find this malevolent man who did this to one of their own. The video started with a man she didn't recognize. He looked like he had been drugged and left to rot in this hole for quite some time. His hair fell into his eyes and his beard was raggedy as Garcia watched his anguish turn to terror. Before she could wonder about what was making him so afraid, she watched a crow bar crash against the poor man's skull. Garcia was sure this would have knocked him out, but it didn't and she cringed as it happened again and again until he fell unconscious. Violence and blood filled the screen until a shot to the head ended this man's suffering. Garcia gritted her teeth and angrily wiped the tears away when Emily showed up on her computer. Steeling herself for whatever was coming, she gripped the arms of her desk chair, keeping her limbs from shaking in fear. Emily was tied to the same chair the poor man from before had died in and that alone made her stomach turn. When she woke up, Garcia noted the confusion in her friend's eyes. The confusion was wholly replaced by a determined strength that Garcia knew very well. After a good half hour of Emily trying to get out of her restraints, a masked man entered the frame. Emily tried to get the man to talk but without success. All this earned her was a horrible beating that knocked her out cold. Garcia bit the inside of her mouth to keep from crying and that's when Morgan walked in behind her. She fast-forwarded through the parts where Emily was unconscious from the trauma and played it, dreading what was coming.

"Oh my gosh..." Garcia didn't turn around when she heard him speak. She just kept watching her friend enduring a merciless beating. Morgan didn't say anything else, just pulled up a chair for him and Reid and watched until they all felt sick to their stomachs. At one point, once they had beaten her down to where she presumably had no more energy to lie, the man started asking her questions about something called 'The Monarch', but Emily yelled that she had no knowledge of whatever he was referring to. The desperate tears in her eyes nearly broke Garcia to pieces. The man didn't believe her. After the electric shocks came something Garcia absolutely couldn't watch. Two men walked into the room and untied a terribly weak Emily and threw her to the wet concrete floor. The man in charge told her she could either tell the truth or fight the two men in front of her. Emily looked livid and she stood, spitting blood on the ground as she responded the same way she had for hours. But when the two men started in, Emily fought back valiantly. For a few seconds it looked like she could handle them, and if she hadn't been tortured for days before, she could have. As it was, Emily could barely stand up and the two men had her on the ground in less than a minute.

Garcia stopped the video immediately and stormed out of the room without a word, her heels clicking quickly as she left. Reid's eyes were stuck to the screen, tears streaming silently down his face, and he didn't seem to notice the video had stopped. Morgan couldn't move or even breathe. He didn't know how to process the images flashing across his mind right now. They were burned into his brain and absolute boiling rage filled his being. His chest was tight with anger and sorrow and desperate disbelief. This couldn't be happening. He'd seen some incredibly awful things through the years. He had even watched Reid get tortured by Tobias Henkel...but this was something that was unquantifiable in its horror. It didn't matter that he knew they had to watch the whole video, Morgan couldn't and wouldn't turn it back on. In fact, when he finally moved, he turned the computers completely off and sat back down, trying to pull himself back to the present. Reid didn't say anything and they continued to sit in silence.

...

Rossi stopped the video when he couldn't take it anymore and he heard Hotch walk quickly out of the Ambassador's office. He couldn't blame him; Rossi, himself felt like throwing up. The only thing keeping him in that chair was the thought that this man was still out there. The man who had taken Emily and done unspeakable things to her to where her brain literally had to block the entire ordeal out of her memory was roaming free. This would not stand. The disgust and overwhelming, vehement hatred filled his chest and he vowed that he wouldn't stop until this man paid for what he had done. Rossi would make sure he was never able to hurt anyone ever again.

...

Emily fought the moisture welling in her eyes from her terrible exhaustion for fear that she might fall asleep and wake up missing more than the two weeks she couldn't remember. That was irrational, she told herself firmly. But was it really? The last time she woke up, aside from surgery, she had lost two weeks of her life. The anxiety she felt raging inside her kept her burning eyes open.

She was stuck. She could remember the days leading up to her disappearance and immediately when she woke up in the woods...but that was it. Nothing else. No matter how hard she tried, those weeks remained hidden. JJ had stepped out briefly to update the team and had advised her to try to sleep. That's what Dr. Petit had said as well...but they didn't understand. As much as she wanted to remember who had done this to her, there was a terror she felt rising up each time she thought of falling asleep. What if she had flashbacks in her sleep? Did she really, truly want to remember what had left her in this broken body? Did this debilitating fear make her weak? Anger at her own trepidation flared enough to color her expression, which JJ noticed as soon as she walked into the room again. Emily watched her friend narrow her eyes in deep concern and then saw the blonde woman clear the emotions from her expression as quickly as they had appeared. Emily appreciated this but knew the concern was warranted.

"Hey." JJ pulled up a chair beside the bed and let out a tired sigh. Emily heard the exhaustion, worry, and anger in that one exhale and she immediately felt shame about her resistance to remember. If JJ noticed the warmth that spread through her cheeks, she didn't show it.

"Hey..." Emily whispered, still unable to make her vocal chords cooperate properly. There was a small silence that Emily desperately wanted to fill, but her hesitation was too long.

"The team is still working on finding out what happened." Emily noticed the vagueness in JJ's sentence. She was filling her in without really saying anything.

"You know what happened to me, don't you?" Emily raised her voice a little and bit back the wave of pain that washed over her, making her stomach turn violently. JJ looked up at her friend, her jaw set and dread in her eyes. She shook her head and looked down. "JJ...what aren't you telling me?" Emily let an edge creep into her voice and she watched JJ struggle with her decision.

"Em...I don't know if you-" Emily interrupted abruptly, her one-track mind disregarding JJ's concern.

"JJ, please. You have to tell me." Emily felt sick and it had nothing to do with her concussion. The idea that JJ knew what happened to her made her want to get up and lock herself in a room far away. The old Emily who was strong and fearless that remained in her head wanted and needed to know about those two weeks. But this new Emily; the pathetic, smaller version that ruled her emotions was paralyzed and wanted nothing more than to be blissfully unaware. She was too afraid of the memories...of what they would do to her...of how she would react to it...and of who she would become. If she was already this terrified of the idea of remembering, she didn't think she could handle the truth. But nevertheless, the old Emily who trusted her compartmentalization skills spoke up and held to what she said.

"Emily, listen. The doctor said you need to take it easy. You should be sleeping right now." JJ was trying desperately to talk her way out of this. Despite the fact that she hadn't seen the video and didn't know the details of what had happened, she definitely didn't want to be responsible for any negative physical reaction Emily might have to the news that the entire two weeks were video-taped. JJ didn't think that she, if put in Emily's position, could handle that information. There was a small silence that grew awkward for a minute before Emily spoke again.

"I'll be okay. You can tell me. I can handle it." Emily sounded like she was convincing herself. She thought that if she pretended like she wasn't fazed by any of this, then maybe it would be true. Maybe she could will herself to be okay with whatever happened. She'd dealt with lots of horrible things before and she had survived all of them even if it meant permanently losing parts of herself and a self-imposed isolation where she kept everyone at arms length. It worked then so why was this time any different?

"Can you? Seriously, Emily, I know you're not okay. You don't need to pretend with me. It doesn't work anyway." JJ decided to be completely honest with her. If she couldn't bring herself to talk about the video, then she would try to break through the fortified walls Emily had built. JJ studied her friend's expression closely. She didn't think she'd ever seen Emily like this before. She looked like she was warring with herself. Vulnerability was something that she knew Emily viewed as a liability. JJ shook her head, thinking she was pushing too hard. "Em...I'm just really worried, okay? I want you to know that I know you're not okay. And that's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time. It's not healthy. And it's not real." JJ finished, knowing Emily wasn't ready to talk yet.

...

Ambassador Prentiss answered her phone, her voice small and terrified and uncharacteristically fragile. Her long, slender fingers trembled around the cell phone.

"What do you want? I'll give you whatever it is...just leave my daughter alone." Her voice shook, tears filling her eyes.

"This is your fault. I know you recognized the man in the video I sent you. This is just the beginning, Ambassador. And your daughter will continue to pay for your sins. You're so concerned with your reputation that you'd rather let your daughter suffer than to fess up to your crimes. In time, you will beg me to kill you instead. I will destroy you. Goodbye for now."

_I'm pretty much the worst at updating. Sorry! But here's another chapter. Review and let me know what you think! -mlw217-_


	7. Chapter 7

Forgetting

Garcia found herself nearly tripping into the restroom and she frantically locked herself in one of the stalls, gagging and dry-heaving as she fell to her knees. Coughing and sobbing, she crumpled to the floor in defeat. She didn't have anything to throw up anyway; she couldn't remember the last time she ate something. Selfishly, she wished she didn't know what Emily went through and that she could erase her own memory. The only thing she could be thankful for was that Emily didn't remember any of the horrible things that had happened to her. She could only hope the amnesia persisted...Garcia didn't want to think about Emily knowing all of the things she'd seen and she couldn't make herself imagine Emily knowing about the existence of the horror-filled video. The tech analyst seemingly couldn't run out of tears to cry and she pulled herself up so she could sit on the toilet. Her head fell into her hands and she tried to force the terrible violent images from her mind. It wasn't working and her breathing was ragged. Then, she heard someone enter the restroom so she silenced her cries and swallowed back her sorrow. For a moment she thought it could have been Derek coming to check on her but she figured he would give her some space. Before she could speculate anymore, a familiar female voice spoke.

"Garcia." Instead of her usual harsh tone, Garcia heard a softness in Strauss' voice. "I know you're in here." There was a hint of her no-nonsense demeanor but there was something else too...something akin to sympathy.

"I'll be out in a minute." Garcia didn't have the patience to deal with this woman right now. Her words were clipped and anger was blatant. Garcia anticipated that Strauss would leave but there was only a small silence as if the woman was trying to figure out what to say.

"Penelope, can you come out here for a minute please?" This completely shocked the tech analyst. Her brows drew together in confusion and her eyes were wide. Did she just call her Penelope? Garcia stood up and quickly wiped her eyes, aware that she wouldn't be able to hide the evidence of her tears. When she walked out, she was met with a kind-eyed woman Garcia barely recognized. Strauss looked like she wanted to apologize but she hesitated, looking down. She looked smaller somehow. "I'm not sure how all of this happened and I don't know what I can do to help...but I do know that you are the best. You care and you do everything in your power to help everyone around you, no matter what the cost is to you. And I know how horrible this is. I know this is so incredibly personal. This is personal for me too. I'm so sorry that I'm asking you to do this. Protocol is for me to assign another team to handle this case...but I've thrown protocol out the window. I seem to do that a lot with this team . While I know none of us can be impartial and we cannot separate ourselves from what happened, I know that no other team could find this bastard...You are integral to this process and this team. So if you can't handle it...I need you to tell me now so I can assign someone else to take this case and sift through the video." Strauss finished her speech, observing what looked like shock and awe and confusion on the younger woman's face. She watched Garcia mentally battle between her heart and her head. It took a few seconds before the brilliant, emotional analyst responded.

"I can do it..." Garcia honestly didn't believe her words but she could not and would not allow someone else to handle the video and treat Emily like a victim. She had to borrow Emily's strength and compartmentalization in order to do her job and protect her family. Everything inside her was screaming to run away but she crossed her arms and gritted her teeth, standing a little straighter. " I can do it." Her tone this time was fierce and unyielding.

...

Luckily, Dr. Petit walked in as the silence grew thick with tension and JJ could almost feel the walls barricading her friend within herself getting higher and higher.

"How are we doing?" Dr. Petit picked up on the uncomfortable air about the room and he sent a questioning look toward JJ who shrugged in response.

"Fine." Emily whispered this begrudgingly, almost childishly. JJ shook her head, rolling her eyes faintly.

"What about your pain?" Dr. Petit let his voice harden a bit, understanding he would have to deal with this woman's stubbornness.

"Not too bad." She kept her answers short and she ignored JJ's expression of disbelief.

"Your heart rate and blood pressure do not agree with you, Agent Prentiss. This is not the time to act tough. I need you to be honest because we need to let your body heal properly." Now his tone was harsh, but this time JJ didn't even think of arguing with him. If Emily wasn't going to cooperate, then she would let the doctor say whatever he needed to say.

"Yes. I'm in pain..but that's to be expected." JJ watched Emily grit her teeth. She looked like she was fighting tears and this confused the blonde woman. Her irritation at Emily's stubbornness faded into concern.

"Okay. I'll get a nurse in here to administer more morphine. What would you say your pain level is on a scale from 0-10?" He scribbled a few unintelligible notes on the chart and looked up.

"5." Emily whispered, avoiding JJ's gaze.

"If your pain is a 5 or above, I want you to press the call button and let a nurse know, okay? Can you do that please?" Dr. Petit softened his tone, figuring a '5' was probably a conservative 7 on a normal scale. He made another note on the chart warning a nurse that if the number rose to a 7 or 8, to get him immediately. "And if breathing becomes difficult, put this mask on. Please just try to sleep. I'm a little worried that you haven't slept at all, but the morphine should help with that. Let me know if you need anything." He directed the last statement toward JJ and Emily closed her eyes briefly. A red-headed nurse walked in as soon as the doctor left and administered pain medicine. The liquid burned as she pressed it into Emily's veins and she left soon after. A silence formed, hanging over the room as Emily continued to avoid JJ's watchful eyes.

"Emily, I'm sorry I pushed you earlier. You don't have to talk about it. I'm just worried, that's all." JJ wanted nothing more than to say or do something to comfort her friend, but she didn't think anyone could in this situation. She watched Emily try to adjust her position in the bed and freeze when pain struck her. JJ wished fiercely that she could help and she prayed for the morphine to kick in quickly.

"No...I'm being...stubborn. I know you're worried. I shouldn't try to hide anything from you. You know me too well." Emily sent JJ a sad smile and winced at another pain that shot through her.

"Can I ask you something I'm sure you're already tired of hearing?" JJ's eyes were sincere and there was a ghost of normalcy in her tone that Emily recognized with nostalgia. Nothing could ever be the same as it was, could it? The dark-haired woman smirked and nodded, saving her voice. "How are you feeling, really?" Emily could tell that JJ wanted to know the truth and not her patented facade that she'd worked so hard to perfect. Maybe it was the drugs working their way through her system, but she felt emotional and exposed. Emily averted her glassy gaze and tried to take a breath, wincing as her ribs were set aflame by the movement. Gritting her teeth against the sharpness, she responded.

"I don't know...I...I'm..." She stopped, her eyes full of hot tears threatening to fall. JJ's mouth opened as if to say something comforting but nothing came out. She just grabbed Emily's hand and squeezed, her grip trying to send her friend some strength. Emily's mouth was twisted into a grimace and she squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm scared." JJ barely heard Emily's confession and she watched the strongest person she knew failing to hold her agony inside, tears streaking down her bruised, swollen face. Now JJ was crying too, her heart breaking at her friend's pain that she could do nothing to remedy. JJ got up from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed gingerly so as to not pull any of the many tubes and wires attached to Emily's frail-looking body.

"I know, Em. I know...but listen to me, okay?" She waited until Emily's dark, swimming eyes met hers to speak again. "You are not alone. Do you hear me?" JJ caught Emily's tortured gaze and felt her heart constrict because she knew Emily didn't believe her. "You...are not...alone. I'm here with you. And I'm not going anywhere. The team...everyone is here for you. And I know that makes you uncomfortable. But we're going to find this son of a...we're going to make him pay. And you're going to get better. And we're going to be here with you every step of the way. We're you're family and that's what family does." JJ continued to hold Emily's hand tightly and with her other, tucked a strand of dark hair behind her friend's ear, careful not to aggravate any one of her many injuries.

"I'm sorry..." Emily cried, dropping her head to her chest, ignoring the dizzying effect it had on her. JJ's brows drew together in confusion.

"What? Why? You have nothing to be sorry for, Emily." JJ's voice was soft but incredulous.

"I don't want to remember. I'm afraid to remember. But to catch this guy I have to get those memories back somehow. I have to figure out how to reach them and then maybe I can help find him." Emily was crying and rambling, her filter taken away by the morphine. JJ shook her head, forcing Emily to look at her.

"No, no. Emily, look at me. You do not have to remember. Do you understand me? I don't want you to remember any of it." JJ's voice was forceful and her eyes were furiously serious.

"But it would give you something to go off of to find him." Her voice was so small and it pricked at JJ's already streaming eyes.

"Em, we're going to find him. Don't worry about that." JJ wondered how long they could keep the video from her and how angry she would be when she found out. But right now, in the state Emily was in, she didn't think Emily could handle another blow. Emily finally calmed down a bit, settling JJ's frayed nerves, and when she closed her eyes, JJ let out a breath. She let her head fall to the edge of Emily's mattress and she cried. She cried for the strongest person she knew and the trauma that had pulled her this far down so that even she, the master of compartmentalizing, could no longer keep her vice-grip on her emotions. She cried because she knew the worst was yet to come. She cried because she felt incredibly helpless. Her heart was tight in her chest as she fell into a restless sleep beside an unconscious Emily.

_Thank you for your reviews! Hope you like this chapter! Let me know what you think! -mlw217-_


	8. Chapter 8

Forgetting

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

The long, clutched silence that had endured between Reid and Morgan was interrupted by Garcia's loud heels as she re-entered her office, resolute ferocity in her step. She cleared her throat and maneuvered around her teammates, turning all of her computers back on. Before she sat down, she met Morgan's pained expression with her own resolved one and connected her gaze with Reid's.

"We are going to find this man. So I need both of you to get out and find out what 'The Monarch' is and why he was asking Emily about it. I'll check in with JJ and get started again on the video. I'll let you know when I find something." There was a tangible bitter dread dripping from her voice but she sounded sure of herself and that was what brought the two men to their feet. Reid nodded and looked down, trying to consume himself in the mystery of 'The Monarch' in order to put the violent images out of his mind. Morgan turned to leave, but before he did so, he grabbed Garcia in a tight hug.

"You're going to find something. I'm proud of you, Baby Girl." His voice cracked a little and he left, feeding off of Garcia's determination to get past the emotional trauma of this case to do his job. Garcia felt her heart sink when she faced the video again, but before she pressed play, she called JJ, needing to know how Emily was doing. After the phone rang three times, a tired, slightly out of breath JJ answered.

"Jareau." It sounded like Garcia had woken her up.

"JJ, sorry for waking you, I know you're exhausted. I just needed an update." Through her sincere apology, JJ could hear the desperation in her friend's wavering voice. The exhaustion she felt dissipated a bit and she sighed, knowing that while she'd had a rough night, Garcia's had probably been worse.

"Hey, Penelope. It's alright. I was only dozing...Emily was trying to stay awake the whole time so she just fell asleep when they gave her more pain meds." JJ tried not to let her emotions color her tone, though she always had a tough time whenever she talked to Garcia. She had jumped up when she felt her phone vibrating and stumbled into the hallway to answer so she wouldn't disturb Emily. She really didn't want to incur the wrath of Dr. Petit for waking her up, nor did she want to deal with trying to get her to go back to sleep again.

"How is she?" Garcia felt her eyes prick as a flash of Emily getting beaten down by two enormous men filled her head.

"She's how you would expect. She's been trying to act like she's fine..but she's really scared and in a lot of pain. She wants to remember everything so she can help us...I haven't told her about the tape." JJ added the last sentence unnecessarily. The team hadn't even addressed that topic because none of them wanted to be the one to tell her...JJ didn't even want to think about that seeing as she would probably be the one to come clean with Emily. The thought made her feel sick.

"I hope she never remembers." Garcia lowered her voice, her tone dark. JJ closed her eyes briefly, feeling the weight of the situation pressing in on her.

"Me too, Pen. Hey, how is everything at the office? Have you found anything?" JJ didn't exactly know how to ask this but she needed to know they had a lead. Garcia hesitated and JJ heard a sharp intake of breath, like she was trying to settle her emotions before responding.

"Um...I have Morgan and Reid looking into something called 'The Monarch'. The man we're looking for asked her about it and Emily said she didn't know anything." Garcia shook her head as if the movement would remove the images of the man trying to torture this information out of her friend.

"Never heard of it..." JJ stopped, an unspoken sorrow growing between them. While she wanted to know about leads, she couldn't imagine having to watch everything Emily went through. Even when she started to put herself in Garcia's shoes, she stopped, avoiding it as long as she possibly could. Silently, she thanked Hotch for assigning her to stay with Emily and not to go back and help sift through the video. However selfish it was, JJ couldn't change that fact, and she felt guilty that Garcia was having to watch it by herself. "Garcia, listen...I'm sorry you're having to do this..."

"Someone has to...and it should be someone who loves her. It should be me." Garcia spoke softly, trying to quell the guilt she knew her friend was feeling. JJ's heart was heavy and she sighed, rubbing her burning eyes.

"You'll let me know if there's anything new?" The blonde woman stood up a little straighter trying to stretch her tight muscles, deciding to get some coffee after she was done talking with Garcia.

"Of course. And you too. Maybe call when she's awake so I can hear her voice?" JJ smiled sadly at this request.

"I promise, Penelope." She left it at that and Garcia thanked her before hanging up.

JJ shook her head and rubbed her eyes again as if doing so would take away the overwhelming stress and exhaustion. Before she could shake herself out of her head, the smell of coffee pried her burning eyes open and she was met by Hotch's usual stony expression and an offering of caffeine. His mouth turned up slightly into a sad smile as he watched the sleep-deprived woman gratefully accept the large cup of steaming coffee. He held his own cup and glanced into the room where Emily was before he moved to a few seats outside the door, setting a paper bag on the ground.

"Thank you..." Words weren't coming easily to the blonde agent as she straightened her now wrinkled button-down and sat when Hotch gestured for her to sit beside him directly outside of Emily's room.

"She's asleep." It wasn't a question and JJ heard relief flood Hotch's voice. JJ nodded, taking a generous sip of her coffee, nursing the cup as the warmth radiated through her hands. She hadn't realized she was cold until that moment. She stared, her gaze unfocused, at the tiles beneath her feet and wrapped an arm around her torso as she spoke.

"It took morphine to knock her out. She refused to go to sleep. She was afraid to..." JJ knew Emily would be pretty pissed if she knew JJ was telling their boss this piece of information, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. In light of the situation, this last thought made JJ reconsider and she started to mull over that cliché in the silence that had formed. Hotch set his jaw, anger filling every thought as he remembered the tape. He wanted to ask more questions about how Emily was doing, but even more than that he wanted to see that she was okay with his own two eyes; to try to remind himself that she was safe and not still stuck in that room. "Did you find anything at the Ambassador's office?" JJ crossed her legs and peered over her coffee cup to Hotch who was deep in thought.

"The video and a note. It said: 'This is your fault.' Rossi is handling the scene and he's going to question the Ambassador in the morning. She's connected..." Hotch swallowed the black liquid, no longer feeling the effects of the caffeine. JJ opened her mouth but hesitated, stopping herself before she shared her opinions on Emily's mother.

"She left pretty soon after you guys did. She got a call and had to go to a meeting..." JJ kept it professional, only stating the facts, but her tone was telling enough. The unit chief nodded, storing that bit of information into his mental file to consider at a time when he could think straight.

"Why don't you go home? Get some sleep." Hotch suggested, noting how disheveled JJ looked. She started shaking her head before he finished.

"No, I promised Emily I would stay." Emotions welled up unwillingly and JJ gritted her teeth, shoving them down as far as she could so she wouldn't break down in front of her boss. Hotch saw the way her demeanor became rigid and her words forced into a more clipped, formal tone. He pressed his lips into a firm line and nodded, understanding.

"I'll get one of the nurses to set up a cot in there, then, and have an officer posted so you can sleep. And I'll get Garcia to bring you a change of clothes tomorrow." Hotch knew he wouldn't be able to convince her to leave, especially the way she reacted to his suggestion. The blonde woman nodded gratefully and took another drink. "I'm going to tell everyone to take a few hours, get a little sleep so we can get back on this in the tomorrow." Hotch sounded like he was creating his plan on the spot and he sighed. "Here, eat this. I'll be right back." The unit chief handed JJ a paper bag with food in it and moved to stand. Before he could walk away, JJ stopped him.

"When are we going to tell Emily about the video?" This question had been eating at her for hours. Hotch's eyes looked pained when she asked and he quickly covered it up, masking the dread with an attentive look.

"Not yet...I'll speak with her doctor and ask him about how it will affect her recovery." With that, he walked into Emily's room, leaving JJ to eat and drink her coffee alone.

Hotch walked in, not expecting to be as affected by the scene in front of him as he was; his heart clenched at the sight.

Emily looked so small and breakable.

This was in stark contrast to the Emily he knew: the woman who was intensely professional and strong-willed, independent and outspoken, unwavering in her resolve and fiercely protective of victims she worked to bring justice to and of the people she loved. The Emily he knew didn't fit with this picture in front of him. Hotch closed his eyes briefly as the darkness of the room seeped into his bones. The guilt was overwhelming when he opened his eyes again and he moved to where he assumed JJ had been dozing next to the bed, sitting down slowly. Emily had been missing for two weeks. His efforts to find her had failed and now she was here, broken and scared and made into a victim of the human malevolence they fought every day. He swore to himself that he would find the man who did this. He swore that he would protect his family like he had neglected to do in the first place. Hotch leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees and he looked up at Emily's bruised, sleeping face and spoke softly.

"You're going to be okay, Emily. We'll find him...I promise." He assumed she couldn't hear him, but that was just as well; the professional part of him rejected the weakness he was exhibiting and he didn't think he could say this to her if she was awake. Hotch took Emily's hand and sat in silent thought for a minute before taking a deep breath and leaving the room, glancing back once more as he did so.

...

"Oh, sorry. Excuse me, Doctor...Rainer" A plump, strawberry blonde nurse accidentally ran into the tall, dark-eyed doctor as she was reading a patient's chart. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as she quickly read his nametag. She sent him a sweet, apologetic smile and moved out of his way, continuing to read through the chart as she kept walking in the same direction. The doctor held his own chart and he flipped through the pages, pretending to write a few notes as he stopped at the nurse's station, glancing down the hall where he saw a man in a suit talking with a very tired looking blonde woman. He observed them carefully, watching their comfortable yet professional interaction. The man in the suit turned toward him and Dr. Rainer subtly and coolly wrote a few notes and glanced up at the man as he walked by. He sent the man, who now seemed much more weary up close, a kind smile and watched the man reciprocate. The dark-eyed man smirked and calmly looked to the blonde woman who was thanking a few nurses who had brought in a cot for her to sleep on. He set the chart down and crossed his arms, noticing how exhausted the officer posted at the door was and he straightened his white coat, sauntering in that direction.

_Thank you for your reviews! You guys are awesome! Let me know what you think! -mlw217-_


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